The Midnight Meat Train (2008)

I'm stuttering in October's film-review-repeat rhythm, so even though I have technically written about this movie before (I saw it way back during its initial release) I still wanted to jot down a few things that I didn't mention previously, to grease the review wheels, if you will.

Ted Raimi is in this... He's not only in it, he's killed in it - and his eyes pop out!

Back in '08 I said one bad CGI moment stuck out, but the rest was sound. Obviously nearly ten years on the CGI splatter appears less seamless, but the gore (a nice mix of computer generated and practical) remains solid and startling. 

It's not relentless, but when it does come it comes HARD. Eye violence; tooth violence; fingernail violence... check!

Some people be hating on the title of this film, but I think it's perfect. Why, particularly in a genre like this, do we always have to be subtle? And if creator Clive Barker himself thought it was good enough, then who are we to argue.

I find something really comforting about the thought of old gods/beings ruling a city without our knowledge. Is that weird?

"What's blood for, if not for shedding?"

I don't know why, back when I mentioned cruddy film realisations of urban myths, that I didn't immediately think of the brilliant Candyman. It was one of the first horror films I ever saw and remains a firm favourite of mine.

Although not strictly based on a popular myth, it's an adaptation of a Clive Barker story with the addition of a "chanting in the mirror" theme, so favoured by teens at sleepover parties.

Reasons why Candyman is a great movie:

1. The opening aerial tracking shot of the Chicago suburbs, following the road in a dead straight horizontal line with the credits doing the same; scrolling on screen and locking in place before disappearing. It's all a bit Saul Bass goes nineties but it totally works and I totally totally love it.

2. Yes, okay, Virginia Madsen is a crush (I also love her brother :P). She is stunning and classy and cool. I will arguably never ever tire of looking at her face.

3. Tony Todd. His performance is almost entirely vocal: in the car park scene it is resonating, mesmerising and terrifying. His presence when on screen is powerful and perfect.

4. Philip Glass' score. Haunting, wonderful, right on the money. He didn't realise this was going to be for a horror film, isn't that amazing?!

5. Ted Raimi playing the bad boy love interest in a cutaway scene involving a frisky babysitter. Ted is great and due to the Sam Raimi connection I will always have a soft spot for the guy - awww, look at the last trivia fact here!

However, his role in Candyman is entertaining on two levels: the geeky "Yay Raimi!" recognition and... amusement. Because he really isn't the first person to spring to mind when you think of a leather-jacketed hunk, is he?!

6. The "WTF? Is this really happening or am I insane?" theme. I love shit like that. What is real, is the protagonist losing it or is all hell really breaking loose? Love it - and I think this film is what kicked off that love.

7. Seriously unabashed smoking. I'm not even a smoker myself but for some reason I like seeing characters puffing away. It looks cool all right? There, I said it. In this film, they chain smoke to the max...

8. How much of an utter prick Madsen's character's husband is. I don't think I have ever really gotten over it, and to this day still hold a grudge against the actor! (Good work by him then, I suppose).

He gets his comeuppance in a mega way. Him and his new girlfriend both. I just adore the scene in the second cap there; as Helen returns to find the young girl having been moved in already and completely freaks her out. The bitter delivery of "I hate the colour..." as she surveys the terrible shade of pink this silly bitch is painting Helen's former home is perfect. And who hasn't fantasised about gutting an ex who was a complete dick, right?

9. Not being able to shout for help/warn others because you have been hurt. This film was the first instance I saw of that and it freaked me out.

10. Many, many quotable lines.

11. The entirely uncomfortable but superbly acted strip search scene. A non-plussed female officer orders Helen to take off her blood drenched clothes, whilst Helen cries and pleads for a shower and to talk to someone who might be able to help her.

12. The story behind Candyman and the chemistry between he and Helen. As terrifying as he is, she feels overcome whenever she is around him. Her eyelids become heavy and we are given the impression she feels almost drugged by his presence. It is alluded that she is either the reincarnation of the plantation owner's daughter that got Candyman into trouble in the first place - or simply looks and awful lot like her. In any case, he takes great pains to harm her as little as possible, handling her gently when he has cause to. The paintings of them both are gorgeous, too.

The headless rotweiller is a downer...

...but, I can't believe I'm about to say this: I can forgive even that. Which, given my usual stance on dog-death, goes some way to illustrate my passion for this movie.

The Midnight Meat Train.

I went into the screening of this, not really thinking about it more than looking forward to seeing something with a little production value, after having just sat through Bubba's Chili Parlor. Bubba's was fine - fun even, and I am not the kind of person to badmouth a low budget zombie flick... However, I'm glad The Midnight Meat Train was the film we ended the night with - even if we did have to catch a mostly empty train home, afterwards. Gulp.

God bless someone finding Vinnie Jones a role where he can pull it off. The man had one word to say in the whole film, which worked - because I don't imagine Mr. Jones being shit-hot at accents, bless him - and all he had to do was look menacing and wield a huge fucking meat tenderising hammer. He did it, and he did it well. His presence and his strength are perfectly suited here.

Why strength, you ask? Because his character is beating people to death! It's so cool. He sits on a late night train and when a lone person is left, he gets his hammer out, walks up to them and just bashes the living shit out of them.

His character ('The Butcher') is so strong, and the film is so into giving the gorehounds some fodder, that the hammer scenes are some of the best in the film. Eyes pop out from the force of the blow, heads roll. It is really excellent stuff. I think I counted just one moment of shoddy CGI and that was it. The rest of the time I was squirming with glee and/or disgust.

You can tell the plot is from a short story, but the film doesn't suffer for that. Having the story be of a shorter length probably helped with writing the screenplay; as there would have been fewer distracting details, plotlines and characters to slim down into a nice sizeable chunk.

This is tight - there are only eight characters in it, and only a maximum of four of those would be considered main - and well paced, and most importantly of all: downright sick and enjoyably twisted in places.

I've never got into Clive Barker's writing, for some reason. Maybe it's about time I started?