Evil Dead (2013)

This artwork by Laz Marquez is EV-ER-YTHING.

I remember when I first saw a trailer for this, and it looked INTENSE. So much so that I didn't go and see it on its theatrical release. Tongue slitting?! Wow... that's a bit much.

Well, times have changed! And just recently I was in the mood to pop this on and finally see how I felt about Fede Alvarez's take on the Evil Dead thing. And, honestly, I felt pretty entertained!

After a gorgeous title card/opening shot one-two punch, we're introduced to a group of college kids. In a spin on the original set-up, Mia (Jane Levy, doing most of the work but doing it brilliantly) is being isolated in this cabin in the middle of nowhere in order to go through drug addiction withdrawals. Her brother David (Shiloh Fernandez) accompanies her to supervise, along with his girlfriend and Mia's friends (including Spring's Lou Taylor Pucci).

David is warned that his sister has paid lip service to quitting before, with all the heartfelt declarations and ceremony they just witnessed as she threw her drugs away moments before. So, he's told, they have to be harder on her this time if it's really going to work. This is obviously almost instantly the cue for demonic shit to go down and no one initially believing Mia, assuming she's either attempting to manipulate them or hallucinating through her withdrawal.

But as we know: she's not. This is demon dinnertime.

Fans of the originals will recognise some iconic plot points like the tree assault (feeling WAY less exploitative than the 1981 version but still horrible [I watched that to remind myself and YIKES x100]), the Book of the Dead (bound in trash bags and barbed wire; nice touch) the tool shed and an Oldsmobile sitting out to rust near the cabin.

This was neither as sick as I had assumed it would be, nor as redundant. And what I really enjoyed about it was the dirt under its nails. 99% of this film feels deeply unclean; slick with sweat/rain/vomit/blood and caked in mud (and blood!). When horror successfully feels so tainted, I'm so completely on board. I love it when world-within-the-movie feels this soiled.

Sure, the drug comedown madness/evil infiltration thing is a horror trope, but it works like a charm here, and once the demons have an "in" with this group, it's almost non-stop evisceration, self-amputation and screaming.

Taking into account the serious, practical gore + solid story + exceptionally bold visuals (the cinematography was by Aaron Morton, who's since worked on Black Mirror) I feel I must recommend Evil Dead. There's not much about this I can fault. Perhaps the ending? Just slightly? But that may only be because it's where we veer off from the known path more than at any other time and I wasn't quite ready for that. On subsequent viewings, I suspect I'll appreciate it more. For its pure insanity if nothing else.

Now that I've come to accept reboots, reimaginings and their ilk, it's easier to get excited about them. At the end of the day, it's more horror, and that's a good problem to have. None of these films will ever undo the classics, so why not enjoy them? Especially when they are as competently made as this is.

Perhaps the most disturbing shot in the movie, for me.

Raimi and Campbell were in fact producers on this movie. Apparently, the original plan was to make a sequel connecting both this and the originals, as this iteration was said to be set in the same continuity. Such info kind of boggles my mind as tonally they are so different; there are very few moments of levity here. I'm sad a connecting sequel didn't happen, as I can't imagine the middle ground. Would have been interested to see Raimi/Campbell and Alvarez mashup?!

I rented this on Google Play so I imagine it's easy to get hold of if you've yet to see it!

The Endless (2017)

I was THRILLED to see this one drop on Netflix recently.

It's absolutely apparent that The Endless comes from the same hearts, minds, and imaginations as Spring. This is another beautiful, thoughtful, funny horror from Moorhead and Benson, and I really loved it!

Justin (Justin Benson) and Aaron (Aaron Moorhead)

It feels very shared universe (more on that later), displaying the same over-saturated, dusty, dreamy quality as their 2014 effort. There's also a similar feeling of this dream-like existence being on the cusp of something immense and threatening.

The Endless is a story of two brothers (played with warmth and humour by Benson and Moorhead themselves) visiting the supposed cult they grew up in, after several years trying to have normal lives out in the real world.

What is initially planned to be fleeting visit leads to some shocking discoveries once back within the folds of this group.

❝The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the Unknown.❞  

− H.P. Lovecraft. 

The "cult" members all seem perfectly nice, if a little weird; the oddness and inexplicable occurrences at their camp becoming more frequent and unsettling with a steady pace. From the get-go we know something is wrong, but Moorhead & Benson take their time giving the audience a breadcrumb trail of glimpses and moments as we discover the unbelievable truth along with the brothers.

It feels at once a cop-out and a courtesy to anyone interested in seeing this to speak as little as possible about its major plot points or themes, other than saying I was surprised how much heart it had, ultimately. And like Spring, they struck a beautiful balance here, making this tale at once so intimate and so astronomical.

So yes, if you liked Spring, definitely see this. If you haven't seen Spring then I heartily recommend both! I am really enjoying the work from this team and I must seek out their first film, Resolution, which somehow I'd missed. There is a very definite crossover narrative from that debut to The Endless, but the filmmakers themselves say you don't have to have seen either to enjoy both.

If you have seen The Endless already, may I recommend this podcast episode from The Evolution of Horror, talking to Benson and Moorhead themselves? They seem like such nice blokes, and they have some very interesting and entertaining stuff to say!

Lake Nowhere (2014)

*kisses fingertips*

Coming in at a mere 50mins long (including the amazing fake trailers and ads at the start) Lake Nowhere is a small but perfectly formed homage to 80s slashers, complete with its own deliciously weird spin on things.

If you're old enough to be nostalgic about watching scary movies on VHS and all of the character-building little details it involved, like murky visuals, tracking lines and glitches, then this film is something you're going to want to check out.

Written by Ryan Scott Fitzgerald and Christopher Phelps, and directed by Phelps and Maxim Van Scoy, Lake Nowhere keeps it simple but strong in two important aspects.

Story. A group of friends (and a dog) arrive at a remote lakeside cabin for the weekend and set about merrily exploring, chopping wood, and settling down for a couple of days of fun. They drink, smoke some pot, have some sex - the usual.

What they don't anticipate is a masked killer lurking around outside (cue lots of cool POV peeping shots). To say any more would give too much away... but rather like a micro budget version of The House of the Devil, this largely sticks to well-worn horror paths. Where and how both elevate themselves above mere imitation and remain an actively enjoyable watch, is due to the fact they're so clearly made with a deep love and understanding of the genre.

Lake Nowhere gets so much, so right. Plus there's also enough of a twist in the tail to still shock.

One of my favourite shots.

Style. I've never had a movie so perfectly mimic the behaviour of VHS, to the point where ancient muscle memory kicked in and I almost found myself reaching for the remote to try and stabilise the playback.

To the haters on Amazon leaving bad reviews because of the picture quality: I truly pity your misunderstanding of this aspect of the movie! ️🤦

The titles and soundtrack/score too, are spot on. Bright red words glare at us over grainy shots of the shoreline, and the upbeat rock music played by the kids sits perfectly next to scuzzy atmospheric electro.

I debated showing the screenshot directly above, but want to draw attention to what a simple, eerie choice this was to have the killer's eyes upside down when shown. These shots are extremely creepy as they punctuate the film. Genius idea.

This is honestly the kind of horror movie that makes fans want to make movies. It took a little over a year from concept to screen; was funded by the makers themselves and an Indiegogo campaign, then shot in just 6 days at a last minute back-up location. Lake Nowhere is a solid gold example of creating something beautiful if you have the guts to go for it.

I wrote simply "YES" and the end of my notes for this.

Seriously considering buying one of the posters from their aptly dated looking official site.

See it, see it, see it!

I watched on Shudder but it's also available on Google Play, Amazon Prime and Vimeo.

A Horrible Way To Die (2010)

Gorgeous poster alert!

Coming before the big hitters for which they've become known (You're Next, The Guest, Blair Witch) A Horrible Way To Die is a sombre - apparently the term "mumblegore" is a thing now? - effort from director and writer team Adam Wingard and Simon Barrett.

We meet our two leads: Sarah (Amy Seimetz) a recovering alcoholic haunted by guilt because of her past, and Garrick (AJ Bowen), an escaped prisoner who can't stop killing. He's also Sarah's ex boyfriend.

Unfolding in a non-linear fashion, we slowly learn the details of their relationship and their lives in the present day. Sarah is extremely fragile, she's managing to hold down a job, attending group therapy and very tentatively embarking on a new relationship. Garrick is travelling, leaving a trail of bodies in his wake - the blurb for the movie states that he's on his way to find Sarah, but I don't recall that being made explicitly clear in the film itself - nevertheless, there's a sense of build up. Garrick is in motion and Sarah appears to be healing... so it's only natural that these two damaged individuals are going to cross paths again by the end of runtime.

The whys and the hows would be giving too much away though ;)

The power of A Horrible Way To Die lies in how intimate it feels. Seimetz and Bowen are shot in close-up a lot of the time, and we feel like we're sitting right there with them in hotel rooms, at work, or in diners. Everything is slow and considered, with scenes lingering a couple of beats before fading out. The scene transitions themselves were something that struck me as contemplative: fading to black, going out of focus or panning away from the actors, letting the prior action really sink in.

Both leads give restrained, impressive performances of anguished vulnerability, and I'll definitely be keeping an eye out for more of their work in the future. (AJ Bowen seems to be a Wingard/Barret regular to some degree, having starred in You're Next and The Guest).

As the "mumblegore" label may suggest, this is a carefully constructed slow burn of a horror. This is the story of people stuck in a reality that is painful to them - one of whom happens to be a serial killer. The chills and unease come from witnessing them negotiating a life that is a constant struggle to exist in. I found this tale to be dark and sad, but completely engrossing and unpredictable.

This is streaming on Shudder right now, and whether you are a Wingard die-hard or not, I highly recommend it. However, there's a lot of "shaky-cam" on display, so if you're prone to movie-induced seasickness, you have been warned!

Cabin Fever (2002) & Hostel (2005)

Do you like Eli Roth? I can't make up my mind. I kind of accidentally watched two of his films back-to-back the other night.

Both Cabin Fever and Hostel show us a group of friends way out of their element, far from home and under threat. Both are satisfyingly (and practically, effects speaking) gory and gross, and both were strong enough in premise and critical/audience reception to have spawned sequels and remakes. Let's take a little look at them...

Even though I've never considered myself an Eli Roth "fan" as such, I remember having an appreciation for his work. Sure, it's a little immature, but it comes from a love of the genre, right?

Hostel's Natalya (Barbara Nedeljakova)

To focus first on the women in these films (because that's where my representation interests lay most heavily), I have to give Roth his due; there's an evolution from the standard "helpless and topless" female characters. Natalya (above) is actually by far the most interesting character in Hostel: she's presented in more than one dimension and has something approaching a character arc! Natalya begins as a sexually liberated hook-up, and progresses through lure to full on traitor, with her appearance following the disintegration of her morality. More thought went into that than I remembered, to be honest.

Cabin Fever has another strong brunette in Marcy (Cerina Vincent). She is comfortable with her sexuality (which I guess in these films amounts to "is willing to get naked" but I'm not judging - women like sex!) and she's also brave and capable.

She's also the bum in this Texas Chainsaw Massacre homage shot!

Female representation is, surprisingly, not as poor as I recalled. There are still ample scenes of sex (centred on the male experience, of course) and boobs, but at least we have characters who are ultimately more than their body parts. They are somewhat multi-faceted personalities, not just a walking pair of tits.

Male characters... don't fare so well. Let's just say that the most striking thing on this rewatch was the reminder that early 2000's Roth sure did a fine line in absolute douchebags. From Bert (James DeBello, below left) in Cabin Fever to all three male leads in Hostel, if you ever feel an inexplicable need to hear characters call one another "fag" and "gay" repeatedly, then you're in luck, I guess?!

Cabin Fever's Jeff (Joey Kern, above right) experiences the best/worst reward for his selfish arseholeness, in another horror homage moment at the film's climax. Having saved himself from infection by abandoning his friends, he staggers out of his hiding place and back to the cabin. In a less shocking but still cool nod to hero Ben's fate in Night of the Living Dead, he's promptly shot and killed by police.

In terms of gore, I feel like it's kind of redundant to comment on at this point. Hostel shows us so much realistic violence that it was rolled into the whole "torture porn" debate. Cabin Fever too, is stomach-churningly gruesome (the shaving scene!) but comes under less fire due to the intent; sick shit is happening to these kids, but it's not directly at the hands of others gaining pleasure from it. In Hostel, people are deliberately captured, sold, sat down and tortured. It all looks very real.

To some this is too much, it's a step too far to show such extreme pain with no real message behind it. Personally, I use the "torture porn" label as a way to know what the movie is about, and gauge if I'm in the mood for it, but it's not a deal breaker by any means. Experiencing the pushing of boundaries is all part of being a horror fan, for me. And if the characters are set up the right way, well, I want to see those kills. Not everything has to have a message!

And if we're talking sick stuff, I'll take this opportunity to say that I've a real soft spot for films that use sexual arousal and infection as an interchangeable/confused notion. The scene with Paul (teen Jo crush Rider Strong) and Karen (Jordan Ladd) in bed, where he's trying to initiate something and moves his hand under the sheets, only to take it out a minute later covered in blood and goo...

Contracted plays with this too, when the main character passes on her virus to a lover and her putrefying pussy is mistaken for being wet from sexual arousal. It's so sick, it's a little questionable if you think about it too much... but I kind of love it.

Both of these are on US Netflix at time of writing, and worth revisiting if it's been a while since you've seen them and are happy to take them for what they are. Roth certainly knows what works for an uncomplicated and few-holds-barred horror movie, and he clearly loves being part of the genre. The cringey homophobic language is hard to stomach, and no one is going to fault you if that in itself means a hard pass to revisit them. Honestly though, they were not quite as "from a mind of a ten year old boy" as my memory had me believe. I'm not sure how comfortable I am admitting I was pleasantly surprised by how much I still enjoyed them.

It must be said though that the director cameo in Cabin Fever is one of the worst I've ever seen.

Edited to add: Ugh EVERYONE IS TRASH. So I checked rotten apples and even though nothing comes up there, this interview (the gross stuff is in number 3) is troubling. It's no real surprise, and that in itself is a shame.

*shrug* It's your call but there's probably as good or better shit to be watching without thinly-veiled homophobia, made by a sexist douchebag.

Last edit on Feb 1, 2019.

Gerald's Game (2017)

One of my least favourite Stephen King books makes a pretty great film, thanks to the two leads and director Mike Flanagan (of Hush, Oculus, and Ouija: Origin of Evil fame). He's been a fan of the book for a long time, and it shows.

I always thought the premise of this story had such great potential, but found the book overly self-indulgent and too plodding in pace. Adapted into a film with some necessary tweaks, this plays like the frightening, disturbing tale it always should have been.

Jessie (Carla Gugino, who is amazing in this) is away for the weekend at a remote cabin with her husband, and when he wants to use real handcuffs to restrain her during sex, this begins an episode of multi-leveled trauma for Jessie which she must overcome if she stands any chance of making it out alive. 

Just for starters, husband Gerald (Bruce Greenwood, thoroughly charismatic and unpleasant here) seems to want to instigate a non-consensual rape fantasy, then shortly afterwards suffers a fatal heart attack, leaving Jessie helpless with the house wide open to whomever/whatever wants to come inside.

Stand-out quote from repulsive character Gerald (paraphrased): "A vulnerable woman is like an open door." Utterly disgusting and disturbing, and cuts right to the true heart of the man Jessie married.

Stand out Gerald moment: When Jessie's imagined Gerald absentmindedly licks his lips and takes one of the accumulating flies into his mouth without missing a beat. Such a tiny detail but perfectly unsettling.

While the idea of being cuffed to a bed with no one to help you is scary enough, all of the plot drive of Gerald's Game comes from Jessie having to finally face the abuse she suffered from her father when she was a pre-teen - and a lifetime of repression and poor decisions following this abuse. There are two instances in this film that make you feel sick, and the flashbacks to young Jessie with her father is one of them.

The blood-red light of a solar eclipse washes over this moment.

The film is shot almost romantically, at times. Certainly in the beginning the dreamy quality of the lighting and cinematography is such that it almost appears to be in soft focus. This was the first thing I noticed when I watched the trailer, and I found it an interesting and commendable choice, given the themes of the story. It's far from a new approach, but presenting horror in a visually non-horrific way just makes it seem so much more frightening, no?

Gerald's Game in fact gives us a range of different horrors; from the gut-wrenchingly sad abuse, to the pure terror of feeling a presence in the room with you, just out of sight in the shadows - I'd actually forgotten about the "Space Cowboy" aspect of the story, which I found to be the most frightening parts of the book and they have DEFINITELY been translated successfully to film - and finally, Jessie's visceral final fight for survival.

There is lots to love about this adaptation, and much to keep you awake in the dark. Highly recommended - catch it on Netflix now.

Lumberjack Man (2015)

This wants to be American Pie with added horror, but fails so miserably I don't even know where to start...

You know it's not going well when you check how much run-time is left and it's not even halfway through yet. By the 30min mark it's already pretty well established that this one is going to be heavy on the boobs but lacking on the gore and downright woeful on the comedy.

The film is as good as this picture suggests.

There are "summer camp stereotypes" to the point of being offensive (remember, this was made a mere two years ago) including a fat kid, bitchy mean girl, dorky camp counsellour and a black chef - who they at least don't kill off, I suppose!?

The kills are so-so, the most memorable probably being when a woman gets her breast implants ripped out, but again, emerging from the flat writing and acting around it, this comes across as gross and unnecessary rather than anything else.

The "Lumberjack Man" in question is a hulking brute with a tree bark mask(?!) and a squeaky wagon which he uses to cart around oversized pancakes to each of his kills. OH GOD I WISH I WERE JOKING. 

He's given no personality and, despite being large and lumbering with a distinct look, he has no presence and nothing remotely interesting to make us care about him either as a villain or an anti-hero.  

Why Michael Madsen signed up for this piece of shit I'll never know. 

I was going to say this film would have benefited from being 30mins shorter, too, but ultimately the horror genre world would be a better place if it had never been made at all. Lumberjack Man is going to make you want to watch a decent summer camp movie, and I strongly urge you to do just that. Don't waste your time with this.

Honeymoon (2014)

Both of these are for the same film, isn't that crazy? Look how much they vary, and give completely different ideas about what you're in for.

Equally, the tagline "After the ceremony, comes the ritual" is something I am sure someone in the marketing department was very proud of, but it too gives something of a false impression.

For what it's worth, I prefer the left poster. And now that I've seen the film, happen to think it suits it a whole lot more. Artwork choices for movies really fascinate me, I talked about them at the end of my review of Teeth, too, if you're interested.

Anyway, Honeymoon is an interesting little suspense film. Its concept isn't anything new: spouse finds partner doing something weird in the middle of the night; behaviour gets increasingly odd until finally the why is revealed. However, it carries itself well - though I will say if not for some icky scenes and a bit of bloodshed, it maybe falls closer to thriller than horror.

Bea (Rose Leslie) was my favourite thing about the film. She and husband Paul (Harry Treadaway - you may recognise him as Dr. Frankenstein from Penny Dreadful!) both start the film as you would imagine: happy, giggly, insatiable newlyweds.

They have come to spend time at Bea's family cabin and all is right with the world... until it isn't. Of course, their journey throughout the film gradually erodes both of them, but it is Bea's transformation that I found most interesting. Hair and wardrobe help, of course, as her spark dims, then goes out completely... 

But Leslie is great at conveying this change, too. Her body language shifts from being open, loose and free, to guarded and curled inward. It really does appear that something awful has happened to her.

Bea quietly carries herself as a victim, but won't tell Paul why. What happened in the woods that night? What are those marks on her legs? She flat out denies anything is wrong, but is clearly not herself as she forgets certain words and how to do simple things, and acts uncharacteristically impulsively all of a sudden.

She also stops responding to when Paul wants to have sex. Now... I do understand where they were going with this... I get that they are just married and on their honeymoon, so the sex we see them have in the opening scenes establishes that they are a happily sexual couple...

The problem I had was Paul. Even after Bea has been acting increasingly odd, and something is clearly amiss, and her inner thighs seem sore... he continues to come on to her in a way that ultimately comes across as a power thing rather than a sex thing. 

Thinking about this, and the act of writing of this review and has led me to the conclusion that we actually aren't meant to like Paul. Ultimately, all of the sympathy from the viewer is intended for Bea.

Honeymoon was written (co-written, along with Phil Graziadei) and directed by Leigh Janiak, and it's her directorial debut. It's an impressively strong film when you take that into consideration, and knowing the the writing and directing comes from a female perspective makes sense to me. 

Paul may be the character we follow around more, the one we have most in common with (in that he's clueless as to what's happening and so are we...) but he's not a particularly nice guy when it comes down to it. I thought that was a rather interesting way to spin this strange little tale.

The Final Girls (2015)

This film was just the tonic, as I was in the mood for something lighthearted. The Final Girls nailed it in every sense.

So originally I had slated Final Girl to watch... That was, until a couple of people suggested I not bother, and instead swap it out for this movie. I love my friends! This film is a riot and a real treat for horror fans who fancy something fun and cheekily respectful to our favourite genre.

All hail knowingly cheesy DVD art!

This is a film that's so self-referential it's one step away from looking straight down the camera. And yet it's not at all annoying, and manages to play out as funny and fresh.

One of my favourite ways for a horror film to start is the sudden shock. Say a character is quickly established who seems like they are in it for the long haul, but then quickly dispatched (see: Scream) or a scene seems harmless enough and then something brutal happens (see: The Descent). Well... this one starts like that.

Main character Max is now an orphan, and a few years later she still hasn't fully processed the loss of her mum, a former 80s slasher actress. After a bizarre accident at a screening of her mum's most popular film, Max and a few of her friends find themselves trapped in that very same movie: "Camp Bloodbath". 

They can't leave (scenes and dialogue skip and repeat until they stop attempting to escape, and routes away from the action just loop them right back to it) and thanks to one of them being a horror nerd, they know who dies, when, and why. Unfortunately they also learn that even though they are trespassers in this story, they aren't immune to being killed off by "Billy" the psycho, either.

Using their genre knowledge, such as: boobs summon the killer; the final girl has to be a virgin etc, and basically being a bit more streetwise than the camp counselor characters, the friends set traps and figure out how to kill Billy, end the film and hopefully get back home.

The emotional heart of the story lies with Max. I'm unfortunately now a sucker for stories of parental loss, so I connected to this sub-plot of grief, and wanting someone back so you can say everything you didn't before it was too late. It's a nice little bit of soul in the middle of a ridiculous film, but it works.

The modern day teens are established quickly, but well, so when their lives are on the line you actually care! FINALLY. Also I just plain love Taissa Farmiga (American Horror Story) and Alia Shawkat (Arrested Development) so watching them act is a joy.

There are multiple clever uses of effects here, paying tribute to conventions in film while simultaneously ignoring the rules. Text at the bottom of a screen denoting a flashback causes the kids to trip over; a new scene literally "wipes" itself down the current one, engulfing them as it goes, and credits appear above the tree line in the sky, completely visible as they start their crawl.

The look, feel and even sound of those 80s slashers is perfectly captured, too. From the neon smoke and lightning to the Evil Dead-like twisty camerawork, it's all here and executed (pardon the pun) with such love.

The music I will let speak for itself...

A final girl word: Don't expect buckets of gore with this one. Ironically, given the title of the film-within-a-film, the kills are more comedic than creative. It's really about everything else that happens around them.

But let's just say I'm excited that Camp Bloodbath had a sequel!

I'm drawing a line in the fucking sand here.

It's Friday the 13th today! I saw a horror movie at the cinema!

Simple things, etc etc.

So! While a review (the sort where I don't want to tell you anything if I can help it, because it's so much better going in blind) or... at least something with a bit of meat to it tries to take shape in my brain, I just wanted to check in with you guys and say that I saw The Cabin In The Woods tonight and thoroughly enjoyed it.